Emerging from Exile: The Listra Chronicles, Book 1

Chapter 13 – Making Friends

Zel left Peela, his little mouse, and returned to Amora putting her on his horse with him. They rode into Vaylen’s interior forest, past red cedars, oaks, and maples, some of which were old giants. Zel kept his eyes open for large predators, but all he saw on the way were a few woodland caribou in a clearing and a lynx eying them from a cluster of boulders at the edge of a small cliff.

The air held the slightest touch of coolness and felt good against his skin. For him, it was the perfect time of year in Vaylen. Most days were pleasantly warm and most evenings just cool enough to be comfortable for outdoor sleeping.

They traveled for a couple more hours but didn’t reach the bandits before they all needed to eat. He chose a suitable spot that gave them enough space to set up a fire and settle in comfortably for the evening. He had Leyal accompany Amora while she gathered wood then sent Essy and Bubo to hunt for their own food while he set out to do the same for himself and Amora.

The night vision and silent stalking capability he got from his owl combined with the lightning-quick striking ability he got from his bond with Essy made small animals like rabbits easy prey. He brought back four and gave two to Leyal. Once they were by the fire, Amora spoke for the first time since they left Veyforge.

“I’m sorry I angered you so by coming with you. I know you’re only trying to protect me.”

Zel said nothing, gave her no indication of just how pleased he was with her admission.

“But you must understand how I feel. The rage you felt in the village, the fury, I could feel it. It’s what I feel toward the men that did… what they did to me. You must understand why I want to kill them.”

He did understand, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Instead, he asked, “You could feel what I felt in the village?”

“I could, so strongly that I almost went running into the village after you, but Leyal wouldn’t let me.”

Zel called Leyal to him mentally. The wolf walked to him and he dug his hands into the fur on his neck. “That’s a good boy, Leyal, a very good boy.” He sent his wolf a mental sense of appreciation and Leyal nuzzled against his leg. Then Zel turned back to Amora. “Don’t you ever come after me, girl. Please. Do not ever risk yourself for me.” He looked at her, with pleading eyes this time, not with anger. “Please. I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“Okay.”

“Give me your word.”

“Okay. I give you my word.”

“Good.” He handed her a rabbit’s leg and she accepted it.

“What happened in the village anyway?” she asked, before taking a bite.

“I just had to straighten out a few Orman assholes, that’s all, some more Orman assholes that don’t know how to treat females properly.”

“There’s a lot of those around.”

He grunted. “Far too many indeed.”

A moment passed before she asked, “Would you teach me how to fight, Sir?”

“Pfft. No, girl.” He scoffed at the very idea of it.

“Why not?”

“Because you are female. It is my duty to protect you, not to make you fight.”

She looked from the fire to him, “And what about when you’re not around? You can’t always be there to protect me. If you teach me how to fight, I might have a chance of protecting myself when you’re not there.” Her gaze was unwavering while she waited for a response.

“No,” he said gruffly, then shifted his eyes to the fire.

“No?”

“No.”

“Why no?”

He looked from the fire to her. “I’ve already told you, because you are female. I’m not going to teach a female how to fight.” His muscles grew tense.

“That makes no sense. You want to protect me. I know you do. What better way to protect me than to teach me how to take care of myself?”

“I said no.” He rose from his place at the fire and stormed off, though somewhat unsuccessfully as there was really no place to go. At least, he couldn’t go far because he felt he had to stay nearby to protect her. That realization pissed him off even more. It meant she had a point. Gods, she’s insufferable.

To make himself feel slightly better, he left Essy with her for protection and walked a short distance away with Leyal. Once he was outside the range of her hearing, he started talking to his wolf. “This girl, what am I to do with her? She drives me mad, Leyal.” He shook his head. He was still angry with her for joining him, still wished he could send her back to Veyforge to safety. Now, she not only wanted to be on this hunt with him, but she wanted him to teach her to fight? He frowned.

Leyal was his oldest strata and Listra had a special bond with wolves. That meant Leyal could communicate with him in a way the other two could not and, though their communication wasn’t speech, Zel could understand Leyal’s message well enough. It said that he might be wrong, that he might need to give the girl a chance. “Bah.” He didn’t want to hear it. “I know you fancy her.” He pursed his lips. “Traitor.” Leyal gave a look that could almost have been interpreted as a smile. Almost.

Zel found an outcropping of boulders and sat on the lowest of the group in a comfortable spot that offered him not only a seat, but a backrest as well. Leyal stayed next to him keeping alert for any threats while he spent some time thinking.

All his years of training taught him it was his duty to protect females, to die for them if need be, not to arm them, not to expect them to fight, not to endanger them in any way. Sending a female into battle was endangering them, so wasn’t teaching them how to fight endangering them as well?

Then again, she wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t be there every second of every day to protect her. And they’d be in the woods for several days, possibly even a week, to kill this group, so there would be time. Maybe there’d be no harm in it? He let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t know what to do. He just knew that the protection of females was his primary duty as a Listra warrior.

Of course, he wasn’t a Listra warrior anymore.

Still, Listra warrior or not, what type of male was he if he put a weapon in this young girl’s hands? What did that say of him? What did that make him?

All he had were questions with no answers. He gazed up at the deep purple of their night sky, at the three moons of the Listranian Gods: one shone pink, one blue, one green, all nearly full, creating a kaleidoscope of color that reflected against the swirling evening clouds. He looked to their blue moon, the largest of the three, and consulted the God, Argas. But, even after talking with him, still returned to the camp undecided. He thought maybe he’d sleep on it and have a clearer head in the morning. It was too late to build a shelter though and he only had one sleeping sack with him.

“It’s big enough for both of us,” she said unfurling it.

“No, girl. I cannot share a bed with you.”

“We’d be sleeping. I’m not talking about you plowing me. Why can’t you share a bed with me?”

“You are less than twenty years, girl. A Listra male cannot lie with a female of less than twenty years. It’s… not right.” That was an understatement. It was not only a crime in Listrand, it was a sin against the Goddess, Arganna. But she didn’t need to know that.

“First, you’re not in Listrand. Second, we’re talking about sleeping,” she said with frustration evident in her voice. “Besides, I was already married, forced to marry, in fact, and carry the asshole’s child. So, I’m no virgin and I’m plenty old enough to lie with a man. Orman men take women as young as fourteen years. You know this to be true.”

“I do, and I detest the way Orman males treat females.” He curled his lip. “I will never lower myself to that.” It also didn’t matter to him whether or not other males had her in the past, or that Ormans viewed females as adults at fourteen years of age. She was less than twenty years, a girl, not a woman to Listra. And lying in a bed with her – he shuddered. Even the mere thought of it made him uncomfortable. He moved in front of a tree with flat ground before it. “You sleep, girl. I’ll keep watch. I don’t need as much sleep as an Orman anyway.”

She tilted her head. “How much sleep do Listra need?”

“A couple hours less than an Orman needs. We can sleep longer, of course, and enjoy it very much too, but we don’t need to.” He sat in front of the tree. “I’ll be fine. You rest, girl. You still haven’t healed all the way.”

She finally relented and went to sleep, thank the Gods. He’d already ensured Bubo would keep extra special watch at night for as long as he had the girl with him, so he didn’t actually have to stay awake. He leaned against the tree and quickly nodded off.

Sometime later, he woke to Amora screaming. Dread engulfed him for a moment before he saw she was still in bed. He rushed to her and woke her as gently as he could. Tears covered her face. Instinctively, he held her. “Ssh. Ssh. It’s all right. It was only a dream,” he said as he rocked her. He instructed Leyal and Bubo to search the area for any threats, anyone or anything who may have been alerted to their location by her screams. In the meantime, she cried in his arms while he did his best to soothe her. After her sobs subsided, she said, “I’m sorry. It was a nightmare about… about what happened, what they did to me.”

He growled his wolf’s growl low in his throat then said, “No. Don’t you be sorry. I’m sorry for what they did to you. Trust that those males will be sorry too. They’ll pay with their lives.”

She looked up at him. “I want to do it, Zeltam. Is it possible? Is there any way that, I don’t know, maybe you could bring them to me somehow?” Her questioning gaze held hope. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want for them to see me, to see my face. I want to look into their eyes and see them looking back at me knowing they’re going to die for what they did to me.” She furrowed her brow. “And I want to hurt them, Sir, badly. I was serious when I told you I want them to suffer.”

He understood how she felt. He was familiar with the thirst for revenge and the desire to see justice dealt to the despicable. Yet he hesitated. She was so young. This would change her. But hadn’t the males who’d nearly killed her already changed her? And how would he feel if someone denied him well-deserved vengeance?

He needed to help her do this if he could. “I won’t make any promises, girl, certainly not before I know what I’m dealing with. But if there’s a way I can satisfy this desire for you, I will make it happen.”

“Oh, thank you, Zeltam. She hugged him tightly.” And now he was lying in a bed with a female of less than twenty years hugging him. He looked up at the night sky and asked the Gods for help. Their answer? Peela crept into his mind. Staring at those pretty doe eyes of hers in his mind’s eye, he wished it was her in his bed, that he had his little mouse in his arms, that he could spend the night with her under their moons. He gave his head a shake. What was he doing thinking of her like that?

Bubo reached out to him and interrupted his thoughts. Something was coming; something huge, something that must have awoken from Amora’s screams. Leyal sent a message soon after alerting Zel of the same presence and letting him know that, whatever it was, it was far too large for Leyal to confront on his own.

He nudged her. “Get up, girl, quickly. Something’s coming,” he said as he rose from the bed. “Go hide some distance behind our camp and don’t allow yourself to be seen.” Thankfully, she left without protest and he sent Essy to stay with her.

He heard the loud crack of a sizable branch breaking, a sound that could only come from an enormous beast making its way through the forest. The sound was too close. There wouldn’t be enough time for armor. He barely got his sword belt wrapped around his tunic before he looked up to see a massive, buff-colored carvar burrah on its hind legs looking down at him. The bear-like animal was at least twice Zel’s height and seven times his weight with enormous paws that ended in long, sharp claws. No armor meant one swipe and he was dead, and this carvar burrah did not look happy to see him. It was a female and Zel bet she had cubs nearby, cubs she would kill them all to protect.

She roared so powerfully it blew his hair back. He drew both his swords and she swiped, her massive paw barely missing him as he moved backward to dodge. Her other paw quickly followed. He retreated to dodge again, this time while swinging a sword in an attempt to connect with the paw. He missed. Bubo flew overhead in an effort to distract her. She swatted at him to no avail.

Leyal came from behind and bit her ankle, but she moved her leg and he had to either let go or go flying. He let go. She roared, turned and a large paw swung in his direction. He launched himself over her paw so she swung at nothing but air, then he landed near Zel. Zel thought to tell Leyal and Bubo to stand down, but it wasn’t just his life at stake and Amora wasn’t that far away. He’d risk them to protect her. Besides, he needed all the help he could get right now.

The carvar burrah turned again, this time frantically swinging at both him and Leyal. She kept them backing up with each swing- any further and they’d be too close to Amora. Plus, Zel needed to move toward her, not away, for his sword to connect.

He found an opening.

The next time the burrah swung her paw, he ducked forward moving under her arm with one of his swords positioned upward.

Amora shouted, “Stop!”

Zel’s sword connected with the beast’s arm, slicing a gash through its thick fur into the skin beneath. It let out something between a wail and a growl. Amora yelled “Stop!” a second time, this time drawing the attention of the beast and Zel. Zel turned to see her, unarmed, with nothing but her smock and kirtle to protect her, standing directly in front of the carvar burrah well within striking distance. His golden-brown skin turned ash white. At the same time, the burrah ceased swinging its paws and seemed to calm. Leyal stopped moving as well but remained standing at the ready, back arched, teeth bared, waiting to continue at Zel’s command.

“Zeltam, sheath your swords. Please.” Amora didn’t take her eyes off the beast. She had her hands out, face down, flat-palmed in front of her as though steadying herself or, maybe, steadying all of them. Zel paused unsure what to do. The burrah hadn’t moved to attack Amora, but disarming seemed unwise to say the least.

“Zeltam, please. If you put your swords away, she won’t hurt anyone. I promise you. Please.”

There was a hint of desperation in Amora’s voice he’d never heard before. The burrah looked at him, its expression pained, but no longer threatening.

“Zeltam, please. This is one of those things I know. Please trust me.”

Zel was still hesitant but remembered when she first met his strata, how they reacted to her, and how she handled the deer that was much larger than her when she was only a child. Slowly, he sheathed both swords. Leyal followed his lead and relaxed his stance. He saw the tension leave Amora as well. The burrah then sat back on its haunches and let out a pain-filled whine.

Amora approached the beast’s injury without fear or trepidation. “She’s hurt. Is there any way we can help her?” The animal looked almost docile now, as docile as a gigantic carvar burrah could look anyway. Zel was still concerned and cautious in his movements though. He slowly walked from the side to the front of the burrah, one careful step at a time. The burrah looked at him warily before she looked back to her wound and Amora.

“I have some healing elixirs,” Zel said.

Amora nodded in acknowledgment but remained focused on the animal.

He went to his horse keeping his eyes on the burrah all the while. He retrieved one of the healing elixirs he got from Momajin and then, just as slowly and carefully, made his way back to Amora. “I have this. It’s topical. It’ll stop the bleeding and heal her quickly but,” he held the elixir just out of Amora’s reach.

“But what?”

“It burns.” He glanced at the burrah. “She might not like that very much.” Zel didn’t feel fear often, but he feared for Amora putting this on the burrah.

“Thank you for letting me know,” Amora said holding out her hand for the elixir.

“You’re sure you want to do this?”

“I am.”

He wasn’t so sure but he also didn’t know what else to do in that moment. He grudgingly handed her the bottle.

“You should move back, you and Leyal, maybe go stay by the horse.”

“I can’t do that. You know better. I must stay here to protect you.”

“You’re not protecting me, Sir. You’re putting us all in danger. She’s uneasy because of you. You need to back up. I’ll be safe. I promise… Please.”

There was that note of desperation again. He reluctantly did as she bid, waited by the horse, and watched from there. The burrah let out a whine when she put the topical solution on its arm and ankle wounds, but the beast didn’t try to harm her in any way. Once Amora finished, she backed away from the burrah who then got on all fours. The animal bent her head and gently nosed Amora with her huge snout then turned and lumbered into the forest the way she’d come. Zel’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath of relief. She was safe, thank the Gods.

But now that she was safe- oh, now that she was safe, he was ready to kill her.

Amora turned and walked toward him.

“What in holy Jallah was that?” he demanded once she got close.

“Well, you’re welcome.”

“Oh, don’t you ‘you’re welcome’ me, little girl.” His nostrils flared. “You gave me your word that you wouldn’t put yourself in harm’s way. Your word that you wouldn’t come after me. Your WORD, girl! Does that mean nothing to you?” He bared his teeth.

She closed the distance between them, looked up at his towering frame holding her chin high. “I didn’t go out there for you, you bloody prat,” she snapped. “I went to save the animal from your reckless stupidity.”

He bent until their noses were only inches apart. “My what?” The veins in his neck bulged. “Reckless stupidity?” He clenched his fists by his sides until his knuckles turned white. “I was trying to protect your ungrateful ass… and facing a giant beast to do it, in case you didn’t notice.”

Amora got on her toes bringing them even closer. “And she was trying to protect her cubs!” she yelled. Her face was bright red.

“She tried to kill me,” he said slowly through clenched teeth. “And Leyal. And Bubo.” His eyes bore into hers. His voice remained low and menacing. “Did you expect me to just stand there and let her?”

Amora said nothing, just leaned back on her heels, and looked away.

He stood straight. “I didn’t think so.” He nodded in smug satisfaction.

“Okay. Fine. I get your point,” she admitted, turning back to him with a scowl. “But when it’s an animal, maybe let me see if I can handle it first before you start swinging swords?”

“Handle it? Handle it how?” he barked. “With no protection? Are you mad, girl?”

She didn’t answer.

“And how did you ‘handle it’ anyway? What in holy Jallah did you do to get it to calm down?”

“I don’t know,” she spat.

 “What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know?” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You must have some idea.”

She shook her head. “I don’t.”

“This is the same thing you did in front of me when you were a child, is it not? All these years and you mean to say you haven’t figured out what it is that you’re doing?”

Amora let out an exasperated sigh. “The most I can tell you is that they know I don’t mean them any harm. They know I like them and they like me back and,” she shrugged, “I wish I knew something more, but I don’t understand it myself.”

“Well, can you do,” he waved his hand, “whatever it is you do, with all animals?”

“Most, not all. All furry animals… I think. But not animals without fur. Well, except for Essy and Bubo. They’re the only snake and bird I’ve been able to… get along with.”

He shook his head still perplexed. “I thought you were an Orman. Lurran is… was… an Orman village.”

 “I am an Orman. Sadly. Both my parents were Orman, not magical in any way. In fact, mother detested magic. She thought it evil.” The corners of her mouth turned down. Zel remembered her telling him of her mother’s complaints about her abilities when she was a child. He wondered if her mother thought her magical somehow. But how could that be? She couldn’t be magical if neither of her parents were. It simply wasn’t possible.

She interrupted his thoughts. “How do you communicate with your strata? How does that work?”

His brow creased. “It’s hard to explain to those outside our species.”

“Maybe try?”

He took a deep breath. He needed to have more patience with her.

He tried his best to answer her question. “We’re connected through a bonding ritual,” he explained. “Once bonded, a Listra can feel their strata even if they’re not near. I can reach out to them and they can reach out to me.

“In this case, with the carvar burrah, both Leyal and Bubo reached out to me. When they did, I could feel what they felt and somehow that meant I knew there was a lone, large beast coming. I didn’t know what type of beast though and I don’t know exactly how I can understand what they’re telling me, just that the bond allows it.” He shook his head. “That probably sounds somewhat impossible and doesn’t make much sense. But it’s the only way I can think to explain it.”

“My whole ability, or curse, or whatever it is, doesn’t make much sense, Sir. So, believe me, it doesn’t sound that impossible to my ears,” she assured. “With the animals, I… make friends with them.”

Zel, calmer now, nodded, understanding as best he could, realizing that was as good as her explanation was going to get for the moment. “It’s time you get some more sleep,” he said.

She glanced around uneasily. “Will you stay with me? I know you think it’s not right, but you’re the only man I’ve ever felt safe with. Maybe you lying with me, holding me, will keep the nightmare’s away?... Please say yes.”

Now she feels safe with me? Internally, he rolled his eyes. Externally, he hesitated, but only briefly. As much as she might aggravate him, and as uncomfortable it would make him to lay by her side, the look on her face gave him no choice. He couldn’t stand to have her wake screaming in that type of pain again, especially if he could do something to prevent it. “Yes, girl. If that’s what you need,” he said.

Chapter 14 – Teacher Please

He lay there unable to sleep, feeling awkward with her in his arms. The familiar sounds of the nighttime forest filled his ears: the cacophony of crickets, the occasional hooting owl, the rustle of twigs and branches from the movements of small animals- the chorus of life in the darkness. He listened to that chorus while he gazed at their moons, at the beauty of their colorful sky visible in patches between the leaves above, and prayed to all three Listranian Gods. Praying to all three at once, to the Trinity, wasn’t something he did often; but, seeing how he was lying in a bed with a female of less than twenty years, a female he had no idea how to handle, and one who drove him mad regularly, he felt he needed all the help he could get.

After some time, he heard Amora’s soft breathing and knew she’d fallen asleep. He lay there a while longer before Peela crept into his mind, that look on her face when she sat on the log, strands of her long brown hair obscuring parts of her eyes. Sultry. Sexy. Calling for him to brush them aside so he could gaze directly into those pretty, doe eyes of hers and kiss those soft lips.

He found himself craving strawberries.

And how her body felt against his when he picked her up, so tiny compared to his much larger frame. So soft. Her entrance so close, yet he couldn’t take her. And how badly he wanted her. He felt himself harden at the thought.

He scrambled out of the bed; his movement so abrupt he woke Amora.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she asked with her eyes half open.

His heart raced and his face flushed, and he was thankful for both his golden-brown skin and the fact that she didn’t have his night vision capabilities. Gods, what was he doing thinking of Peela while he was next to Amora? You bloody idiot, Zelstrason.

“Everything’s fine,” he said with his legs bent just enough to obscure her view so she couldn’t see why he’d moved away. “Go back to sleep.”

After a pause, she said, “No. Something happened. What’s wrong?” She knit her brow.

“Nothing happened. Now go back to sleep.” His voice was gruff.

“Well, are you going to come back here?”

“I’m not tired. You sleep. I’ll be right nearby. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“But you said you’d hold me.” He heard real fear in her voice and got angry at himself. He had to get Peela out of his head while he was with Amora. He couldn’t allow himself such indulgences. But the moment he thought her name, there she was in his mind’s eye and he wished he could go back to the village, even for just one more kiss.

“Please.” Amora pulled him out of his thoughts again.

Gods, what was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he get this female out of his head?

He had to regain his composure. “Alright, girl. I’ll be there in a minute,” he said then looked to their pink moon. Arganna, a little help here, please? If things could be a little less complicated on the female front? Maybe just put me back in the woods alone, just me and my strata; no females. Yeah, that’d be real nice.

He looked over and Amora was still there staring at him, a hopeful expression on her face. He glanced back up with pursed lips. Guess not, eh?

After taking another minute to center himself, he moved back to the bed, and Amora nuzzled into him. He needed to find something to think about that would keep him occupied for a while, something that wouldn’t trigger thoughts of Peela, something that wouldn’t arouse him in any way. He decided to run through his kills and, though it took a while, he eventually fell asleep.

When he woke, Amora wasn’t in the bed with him. He had a momentary feeling of panic before he heard her humming nearby.

“Good morning,” she said brightly as he was getting out of the sleep sack. “Look what I found.” She held out a small wooden bowl he kept in his things. “There’s a blackberry bush right over there,” she said pointing with her other hand. “They’re just barely ripe, but still sweet and tasty. Try them.”

He did and she was right. “You slept well?” he asked while rolling up the bed.

“I did because of you. Thank you, Zeltam.”

He nodded.

Only a moment passed before her brows furrowed and she said, “That’s not your real name, is it? What’s your real name?”

 Gods, you have got to be kidding me? He looked up. Have I done something to displease you? First Delphine, then Freya, and now Amora? He might as well make a sign with an arrow and have the carvar burrah stand on her hind legs and wave it in the air. He shook his head. Screw it. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep anything from this girl, so he figured he might as well not try. “If I tell you, you mustn’t tell anyone. Do you understand?”

“You needn’t worry about that. I learned a long time ago to keep things to myself.” The words were an echo of what she’d said to him as a child.

He nodded. “I am called Zelstrason.”

“Mmm, Zelstrason. I like it. It suits you better than Zeltam.”

“I’ve heard that before,” he said, remembering his time with Ginni.

Amora froze as she was making her way to their fire to quell it.

“What is it, girl?” He cocked his head.

“She’s here,” Amora said.

“Who’s here?”

“The woman, the woman you cared for, the one who told you that before, about your real name. She’s here.”

He scanned the area and saw no one. “What do you mean? Ginni? She’s not here.”

“No, no,” Amora said, “not right here, but part of the group we’re hunting. She’s one of them.”

“How do you know?”

She sighed. “I’ve told you before, Sir, I don’t know. I just know things.”

“But, how can you be sure? Are you sure?” This couldn’t be happening. Could it?

“Of this, yes. Some things are clear. Some things aren’t. This is clear. She’s definitely part of the group.”

Zel looked up and shook his head. Arganna, seriously? I said less complicated, not more. He just got done dealing with Freya’s feelings for him, he couldn’t get Peela out of his head, Amora was both a hindrance and a complication, and now Ginni, who he hadn’t seen in nearly a decade, was going to be on the other end of a hunt? No wonder he felt like he’d never talked to the Gods so much in his life. Nothing was going to plan.

“What will you do?” she asked.

“The only thing I can do; let her live.” And hope you don’t tell the Lord of Veyforge.

“You loved her once,” Amora said. It was a statement.

He let out a low growl. “We need to pack up and get moving.” The words came out more aggravated sounding than he’d meant them to. But what did she know? How did she know if he ever loved Ginni? He never told anyone that, not even Ginni. And what was it her business anyway- even if he did? What concern was it of hers?

Thankfully, she remained quiet as they walked. He was beginning to enjoy travel more than rest. At least it was peaceful. Several hours later, Bubo let them know they finally neared the bandit camp. The owl led them to a high stone ridge where they were a safe distance from the camp, but close enough to get a look at what he’d be dealing with. He and Amora laid down and peered over the edge. They could see two fires burning and at least a dozen tents of various sizes set amidst sparse trees.

“Wow, there’s a lot of them,” Amora said.

 “Enough that they’ve settled far more than what’s typical. They’re not going to move this camp easily or lightly, and that’s good for me.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re easy targets here. I can pick them off one at a time.” He also thought he and Amora might be able to make camp right near the ridge, away from the edge, just along the tree line. It would put them a good distance away from the bandits, far enough that it would result in a lot more travel time back and forth than he’d ever maintain on a hunt if he were alone; but he’d deal with the inconvenience to ensure Amora’s safety.

“So, what now?” she asked. “Is there anything I can help with?”

“Actually, yes,” he said. “First thing I need is an accurate count and, since there are two of us, we can each take a count three times. That will give us six counts and, hopefully, several will come up with the same number.” He paused. “There’s only one thing.”

What’s that?”

“The males who hurt you…”

“I’ll pick them out so you know exactly who they are,” she said interrupting him.

“It’s not going to bother you to see them?”

“I want to kill them, Zel. All I feel is rage and a desire to see them die painfully. So, yes, it’s going to bother me, but not in the way I think you think it might.”

There was a cold resolve in her eyes that he was glad wasn’t meant for him. He decided to take her at her word. A little while later, he knew which four men had hurt her and they had their count.

“So, twenty-four,” she said.

“Twenty-four,” he agreed.

They backed away from the edge and walked to the horse and his strata. As they walked, she asked, “How will you kill so many?”

“With patience and stealth, girl, with patience and stealth.” Her safety was his priority, so he’d do this in the manner that posed the least risk to her.

“And did you see her?”

Great. We’re back to talking about Ginni. “I did, yes.”

“She’s the sand person, isn’t she? I don’t know what their species is called.”

“They’re called Akari. Yes, that’s her,” he said. “You know, it’s annoying how you know so many things.”

“I didn’t know that because of my,” she waved her hand, “whatever it is I have – ability, curse – more like a curse. Anyway, I knew because I saw you looking at her, the way you looked at her.”

He grunted. Even that aggravated him. Why did this girl have to see so much?

“She’s with at least two of the men,” she said.

“I saw.”

“You’re jealous?”

“No.”

“But your angry.”

“Girl, do you ever shut up?” He couldn’t conceal the frustration in his voice. He didn’t want to dislike her, but he wasn’t used to people, wasn’t used to having someone around all the time, someone talking all the time, asking questions all the time – let alone someone who knew far too many things about him, many of which he didn’t want anyone knowing.

“Sorry,” she said looking down. She shifted her weight from one foot to foot then looked back up. “I’m just trying to understand is all.”

“Understand what, girl? What is it you want to understand?” he asked, scowling.

“You. Everything.” She shrugged. “I’ve hardly been anywhere except Lurran and Veyforge. Outside of what I learned from our village alchemist growing up, I don’t know about the world. But I want to learn. I want to learn about everything. And you, you’re interesting and it seems you know a lot. Is it so bad for me to want to learn about you, to learn from you?”

He grunted. He didn’t want to be her teacher. He just wanted to get this hunt over with, get her settled somewhere, and get back to his search for Fogard.

But maybe if he taught her something, it would keep her busy? Would the Gods forgive him if he did? Would they need to? Does a holy law even exist that says we can’t teach a female to fight? He couldn’t think of a one. No, they didn’t teach their females to fight simply because they kept them far from danger, so there was no need of it. But there was nothing that said it was against the law, not the laws of Listrand and not the laws of the Holy Trinity.

“Alright. Fine. You want to learn something?” He turned to his horse. From one of the saddlebags, he pulled a dozen throwing spikes: thin, sharp, silver projectiles, about the length of his hand. He chose an old oak tree nearby, one with a wide trunk that would serve well as a practice target, stood about six feet from it, and drew a line in the forest floor with his foot.

And, holy law or not, he still prayed to Argas that he was making the right decision and the Gods wouldn’t strike him down for arming a female.

He handed her one.

“What is it?”

“It’s called a throwing spike.” He watched as she examined it, then continued, “It’s a weapon, a very deadly weapon when used well.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Now, let me show you.” He held one between his fingers. “You hold it with a loose grip with your pointing finger in the middle. Then take your middle finger and thumb and hold them together just a bit lower.” She tried to follow his example. “Yes, that’s it,” he said. “Take your next finger and line it up with the tapered end.” She did as he instructed. “Yes. Good. Now when you go to throw it,” He turned to face the tree. “point your elbow in the direction of the target. That’ll help with accuracy and speed. Then you let it loose like so.” He threw the spike. It landed in the center of the tree.

“Looks easy enough,” she said.

“It might look easy, but I’ve done it thousands of times. If you want to get good at it, you’ll have to practice a lot. Once you hit the target, remember exactly how you threw it and repeat. Over time, your body learns how to do it without thinking.”

“Right,” she said, bright eyed and leaning forward with the spike in her hand as he’d taught.

He grinned at her eagerness. “Go ahead. Throw it,” he prompted.

She positioned her feet in an attempt to mimic his stance, tried to throw the spike as he threw it, but hers didn’t even hit the tree. She crinkled her eyes and pressed her lips together.

“It’s harder than it looks, eh?”

“It is,” she agreed.

Yet he could see her determination. “Remember, no one starts out perfect. It’ll take some time.”

She nodded.

He handed her a couple of the thin spikes and helped her with her stance and throw a few times before he said, “Good. I think you’ve got it. Now, I want you to practice from behind this line,” he pointed to the line he’d drawn, “with your dominant hand. Once you can strike the tree ten times without a single miss in an area about this big,” he formed a circle by putting his thumbs and index fingers together, “start practicing with your other hand.”

“My other hand? I’ll never be able to do it with my other hand.”

“You will. It will be harder at first and you may never be quite as good with that hand as you are with your dominant hand. But, in battle, it’s always best to have options. If one hand is tied or injured, you always want to be able to use the other effectively. It can mean the difference between life and death. And, you may not think so now, but your other hand and arm will become stronger over time.”

She cocked her head and wrinkled her nose. “Were you a teacher before you became a bandit killer?”

He chuckled at her ‘bandit killer’ designation then answered, “In a manner of speaking.”

“What do you mean?”

“I used to train and command warriors.”

“Oh,” she said, “I bet you were really good at it.”

He smiled. Oddly, the time spent giving her this lesson was the most comfortable he’d been around her yet. He might have to think about that some later.

He handed her the rest of the spikes. “These are yours to use while I’m on this hunt and you can practice with them as much as you like, okay?” To his surprise and chagrin, she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around him.

“Thank you so much, Sir! You won’t regret it. I promise.”

And there went that comfortable feeling, replaced by a feeling that he might already be regretting it.

He was so far out of his depth. In Listrand, warriors weren’t permitted to form relationships with females, which meant he had little experience with the opposite sex. And, even within the couple of relationships he’d had, he’d never spent any significant time alone with his partners, never more than a night or two. Plus, he’d never been around a female so young. He simply didn’t know what to do with this girl – ever – yet she kept hugging him. He’d rather fight twenty bandits at once than deal with this.

Thankfully, she released him in short order. He instructed her to stay on the ridge far out of sight of the bandit camp while he went down to get a closer look. She was content to stay and practice, so it seemed his idea worked in that sense. Maybe it wasn’t bad arming her, after all? He was still undecided. At least the Gods hadn’t struck him down yet. That was a good sign.

He left her and his horse on the ridge with Leyal to watch over her, sent Bubo to keep watch over both the girl and the camp from above, and kept Essy with him. He descended the steep path off the ridge and made his way to the bandit camp, then silently scouted the camp’s perimeter, noting how many men they had on watch and where they were stationed, assessing the easiest access points, and taking stock of their supplies and overall set up.

He laid eyes on Ginni and couldn’t help but watch her. Amora was right. She was involved with at least two of the males in the group, one who seemed like he was just a toy for Ginni’s amusement, the other, he and Amora already determined was the group’s leader. He had the same burnt-orange skin and hair as Ginni, which meant he was also an Akari like Ginni. They looked close, at least enough so it seemed she was truly part of this group, not an outcast or someone just tagging along as he’d hoped. He let out a heavy breath.

Ginni had run with bandit groups before she and Jarrand were together and she was no stranger to killing. Still, this group was pretty violent, even for her. His bet was that her fondness for the Akari leader had everything to do with her involvement – and he had to kill the man. He shook his head. This job was turning out to be so much more complicated than he’d originally anticipated.

While he scouted the area, one of the bandits walked away from the camp to relieve himself. Might as well seize the opportunity. He wanted the cause of death to remain uncertain to the rest of the group, so he sent Essy to make the kill.

The man didn’t tuck his britches into his boots – big mistake. She slid up his leg and bit his calf multiple times in lightning-quick succession. With each bite, she injected a healthy dose of poison, and she was gone before he knew what happened. Within seconds, he became disoriented. A sheen of sweat covered his face, his eyelids drooped, and his actions slowed. He tried to return to the camp but lost muscle control and collapsed.

One down, twenty-two to go. Zel wasn’t counting Ginni in the tally.

As he assessed their supplies, it crossed his mind that lighting a fire on the ridge could be risky – too great a chance the smoke might be seen. That meant cooking was going to be out of the question for the next few days which, in turn, meant a little theft was in order. Right about now, he wished he had Ginni on his side.

But he didn’t and, with her on the other side of this, he was going to have to be a lot more careful in how he handled things. Even in the case of this theft, he couldn’t send Essy to scare everyone off like he normally would. If he used Essy too much or too noticeably, Ginni might figure it out. If she did, if she thought for even one second that he was hunting them, she’d convince the leader to move camp. That would make this job much harder and much more dangerous, something he definitely didn’t want while he had Amora with him. That meant he’d be using Essy more sparingly than he’d planned. But nothing else had gone to plan during this hunt. Why should this?

So, instead of using Essy overtly, he worked with Bubo covertly. Together, they managed to get several loaves of bread, cheese, some dried meat, and two jugs of wine: enough food for a couple of days, especially if they found more berries to pick. Not a bad haul and only slightly more effort with Bubo. He was proud of the owl too.

When they got back to the ridge, he saw Amora still practicing with the spikes, but with her other hand. “Did you already master your right hand?” he asked skeptically.

“No. My arm just got tired, so I switched hands.”

He nodded then noticed that, even with her left hand, she was hitting the tree most of the time now. It was a vast improvement. He unloaded the food and drink then went to the top of the ridge, laid down, and looked over. Amora joined him only a few moments later.

“So, what happened? What did you see down there? And what are we looking for now?”

He gave her a sideways glance.

“Sorry. I ask too many questions, huh?”

He turned his eyes back to the camp. “We’re watching to see if it looks like anyone’s found a dead body yet.”

“A dead body? You killed one already?” she asked with raised brows.

“I sent Essy,” he said, then pulled out a small spyglass, extended it and peered at the camp.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a spyglass. You’ve never seen one before?” He offered it to her. “Here. Take a look.”

“Wow. This is amazing,” she said as she scanned the camp. “I can’t believe how much closer they look.” She panned to the other side then said, “Hey, one of the assholes is arguing with the leader… I mean, one of the men… one of the men who…”

She didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t have to. He knew she was referring to one of the males who’d hurt her.

“It looks like they might get into a fight.”

“Let me see.” Zel held out his hand.

She put the spyglass in his palm. He took it and saw she was right; there was a heated exchange, very heated. It would have gotten physical but for a couple of the men who intervened to cool things down. Then the asshole who’d hurt Amora stormed away and a wide smile spread across Zel’s face.

“What? What is it?” she asked.

He handed her the spyglass and scrambled to get up. “I’ll be back in a while. I left some food. Don’t wander, don’t set up a fire, and don’t go to sleep without me here, okay?”

“Yes. Fine. But what are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” he said with a grin and quickly made his way off the ridge.  

Chapter 15 – Merciless

Zel returned from the bandit camp and joined Amora who was still peering over the edge with the spyglass he’d left her. “See anything interesting while I was gone?”

 “There was some commotion on the right side of the camp a while ago, but I couldn’t see what it was about. Too many tents in the way.” She handed him the spyglass. “And where did you run off to? What did you do? You left so quickly.”

“I went to get you a present.”

“You did?” She looked at him with raised brows.

“Mmm hmm,” he said peering through the glass doing his best to contain a smile. “Go look at our camp, at your practice tree.”

She got up with some haste and walked toward their camp. Zel turned to watch interested in seeing her reaction. Disbelief first and then… glee? Yes, that looked like glee.

She circled the man Zel had tied to the tree, looked him up and down inspecting him, then checked his bindings.

Smart girl. Always good to double check.

Zel stood and walked toward her. She beamed at him, then ran to him and hugged him. Again, she was hugging him. He looked to the sky, shook his head in displeasure at the Goddess, Arganna, yet couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from turning up as he hugged her back.

“Thank you! Thank you so much, Zel! How did you do it?”

He noticed she’d taken to calling him ‘Zel’ since she learned his real name. He didn’t mind. It felt more honest than Zeltam. “The how is not important. Why I did it is.”

She released him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, seeing how our friend here got himself in a fight with the boss, him disappearing will look like a desertion, not an assassination.”

“That’s brilliant,” she said smiling widely, her hazel eyes bright.

“I’m glad you approve.” He gave a slight bow with one hand at his waist in the front and one at the back.

She giggled. It was their first moment of silliness together. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all?

But then her giggles faded and her face turned serious. He feared she knew something again, saw something again, something else he probably preferred she didn’t know or speak about. “What is it?” he asked with some trepidation hoping he didn’t regret the question.

“How does it feel to kill a man?”

The question wasn’t what he was expecting, though it probably should have been considering the situation. “Depends on the man and whether or not he deserves killing. If he deserves it, it feels good, at least to me. But I’ve been killing for a long time, so I’m used to it. If you don’t want to do it, don’t feel you have to. I’ll be more than happy to take care of him if you like.”

“No. I want to. I definitely want to. I’m just a little nervous is all.”

He nodded.

“Do you have a dagger?”

He bent, pulled the dagger from his ankle holster, and offered it to her interested to see what she’d do with it.

“Thanks,” she said, and then froze. Turning the dagger, she inspected its hilt and the small oval stone embedded there, a pearly white stone with a deer etched on its face. “This is the dagger…”

“It is.”

“You had the stone etched because of me? Because of that night with the deer?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I can’t say exactly. Just felt compelled to.”

She nodded as if she understood, as if that explained everything, then turned and walked to the man tied to the tree. Placing the dagger in her mouth, she moved to open the man’s tunic. Zel rushed to her and removed the dagger.

“You must be careful, girl. His head isn’t secured. If he were to wake, he could strike you with it. With the dagger in your mouth… well, let’s not imagine what that would look like.”

“Right. Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“Don’t be. It was my failing. I should have warned you or secured his head.” He admonished himself internally for the error. “What is it you wish to do?”

“I want to cut off his clothes.”

“Let me,” he said and, in seconds, the man was nude. “Is there anything else you’d like me to do with him?” Zel asked after he’d relieved the man of his clothes.

“I’m not sure. I was thinking of just leaving him there to freeze, get eaten by bugs, and contemplate his fate for the night.”

It wasn’t anywhere near cold enough for the man to freeze in the literal sense. But the temperatures dropped enough in the wee hours that he certainly wouldn’t be comfortable nude throughout the night.

Zel cocked his head and raised his brows. “So ruthless,” he said. “But if you want him here for the night, I’d like to make sure he’s more… secure.” He emphasized the word as dramatically as he could.

She perked up and tilted her head. “Definitely,” she said.

He nodded, checked the man’s gag, then emptied a sack with some of the man’s belongings, a sack he packed to make it look like the bandit had left the camp of his own accord. He put the sack over their captive’s head, checked his wrist and ankle bindings once more, then turned to Amora. “Do you mind if I use a few of the spikes?”

“Of course not. They’re yours.”

He retrieved one and threw it at the man’s foot. It landed in the center exactly where he’d intended: deep, but not all the way through. Muffled screams emanated from under the hood and Zel was grateful they weren’t loud enough to be heard beyond the ridge.

“Glad you could join us,” he said in the direction of the hood. The man made futile attempts to flail as Zel slowly pushed the spike the rest of the way through his foot, twisting to enhance the pain. The muffled screams grew louder. He wrapped a sizable stone in the man’s tunic to dull the noise and used it to hammer the spike into the large tree root beneath then repeated the process with the man’s other foot.

Amora watched intently but, when he looked at her, he couldn’t read her expression. He saw her wince a few times though, so he decided to ask before continuing. “Do you think I should… secure… his hands as well?”

“Absolutely,” she said with her eyes narrowed and her face hardened. “The bastard deserves that and more. They all do for what they did to me.”

He obliged and pushed a spike through each of the man’s hands and then into the tree while the man screamed beneath the hood and gag. His screams didn’t bother Zel in the least. No, he shared Amora’s sentiments. Any male who hurt a female the way this one did, who beat her, forced himself upon her, killed her baby, and left her to die, deserved this and so much more.

His torture games were done for the moment though. Since they’d be there for several days, he wanted to get a simple canopied shelter built and he wanted to get it done before sunset; then he’d head back to the bandit camp. There were several more men who needed to meet their end before the night was over.

Once he finished their shelter, he left Essy with Amora, sent Bubo to circle overhead and keep an eye on both camps, then took Leyal with him on the long, steep walk from the ridge to the bandit camp. They came upon the first two watchmen sitting at the camp’s perimeter, both looking bored rather than alert.

They approached silently, one from each side. Using their connection, they worked in unison to position themselves for the strike and, when Zel felt the moment was right, he shifted his mouth into that of his wolf and signaled to Leyal. They pounced, their wolf jaws clamping down on the necks of each of the men with vice-like grips, killing them instantly. After the initial kill, both ravaged the men thoroughly then slowly and silently scouted the camp’s perimeter until they reached the two watchmen on the opposite side and repeated the attack.

On their way back, he stopped to wash at a river that ran along the path leading up to the ridge. The way they’d ravaged the men was meant to make the rest of the group think their deaths were due to a random, yet plausible, large animal attack, not a deliberate assassination. But it made a bloody mess and he didn’t want to frighten Amora. Despite his best efforts, some blood remained. There was nothing more he could do about that at the moment though, not without disrobing and bathing entirely – and even he didn’t bathe in darkened rivers in the dead of night if he could avoid it.

Once he returned to the ridge, Amora peppered him with questions, as usual.

“Four more down,” he told her. “That’s six today. Not bad. Now we can enjoy a day or two of rest.”

“We can? Why?”

“I killed six of their males today. Well, five, but the sixth might as well be dead,” Zel said gesturing to the man tied to the tree. “If I kill more tomorrow, they’re going to get the feeling these deaths aren’t natural. I want to give them some time to feel like this was just a bad day, to let them get comfortable again.”

“That makes sense, but do we have enough food?”

“No, but I’ll steal more,” Zel said without the slightest bit of concern.

“Won’t they notice?”

“I’m only stealing enough to cause dissension within the group, not so that they think an outsider is stealing from them.”

“You mean, they’ll think someone in their own camp is taking more than their fair share… and that will cause fighting among them?” Amora said in wide-eyed realization.

“Exactly, girl. You catch on quickly.” He sometimes enjoyed toying with his prey, especially when they deserved it. It seemed that was true of Amora as well, for the next morning she spent a lot of time toying with hers.

She went to her captive, snatched the hood from his hanging head and ripped the gag from his mouth. Then she grabbed a handful of hair and yanked back until he looked at her. “Remember me?”

“No.” He tried to shake his head. “No. I don’t know you.” There was no recognition in his eyes.

“Figures.” She released his head with a jerk of her wrist, then picked up the throwing spikes. “Tell me, how many people have you stolen from? How many women have you forced yourself on? How many have you beaten? How many have you killed?” She spat the words at him. “How many?” she demanded. “How many whose faces you don’t remember?”

“Hey, listen, whatever you think I did to you, I’m sure we can work somethin’ out. I have coin. I can pay you.”

Her lip curled. “Coin? You tried to kill me, and you did kill my baby… and then left me for dead. And you think I want coin?” she sneered. “Oh, I am so going to make sure you remember my face, you bastard.” She held the spikes in front of him. “Take a look at these, asshole.”

His eyes tensed and drew upwards until they were fixed on the spikes. “Come now, little lady, you don’t need to be handlin’ things like that.”

“I’m not your little lady.” She split the group of spikes in half, then lowered them and watched his eyes follow her movements as she ran each set along either side of his groin.

Sweat beaded on his creased forehead and his brows raised and pulled together. He swallowed. “Okay, listen, I’m sorry about the ‘little lady’ comment. Please, we can work something out. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“You’re right. You will. You see, what I want is to practice my aim. And the area between these spikes is my new target,” she smiled with contempt as she stroked the spikes along his groin, “to start anyway.”

“No. Please, no,” he said softly with an underlying note of disbelief.

“What’s that? I’m sorry, but I can’t understand you.” She tilted her ear toward him pretending to listen. “I think you said please. How very polite of you to ask so nicely. I said ‘please’ too. In fact, I begged and pleaded with you to stop. But you and your friends didn’t stop.” She gripped the spikes so tightly her knuckles turned white. “No. Instead, you all kept going. And you thought it was funny, even laughed at me while you took your turns and beat me nearly to death. Well, fuck you, asshole. We’re about to find out how much you laugh when you’re on the other end.”

He flailed his head, the only body part he could move.

She walked to the line Zel had drawn for her practice, turned to the man and threw the first spike.

Zel sat against a tree and watched her for some time as she used the man for target practice, all the while taunting him with the memory of what he and his friends had done and why she was doing this to him. Zel was oddly proud of how vicious she was. She told him beforehand that she wasn’t aiming to kill the man, not at all. If she killed him, that would be fine, if not somewhat disappointing. But she figured, with how bad she was at throwing the spikes, he’d live at least a few days, especially since she hadn’t yet learned how to throw them so they lodged with any depth. He might even die of thirst first.

Zel decided he liked this girl’s brand of revenge and would do everything in his power to bring her the other three men.

He spent much of the morning cleaning himself, his armor and his clothes. Then, he scouted the bandit camp once more to see how they were handling the deaths of the watchmen. They were shaken up, but their leader was trying to keep everyone calm. Zel eaves dropped enough to learn that he’d doubled the night watches too, which was exactly what Zel expected, and also what he wanted.

He gave them a couple more night’s reprieve to create an illusion of safety so they’d let their guard down, then he and Leyal killed and mauled seven of the eight men on watch. He knocked the eighth out and carried him up the long, steep path to the ridge, then bound and gagged him next to the tree that held the first man who Amora had long since abandoned.

She stood watching, waiting for her new practice target. The man woke just as Zel finished tying him. He struggled, but his movements served only to tighten his bonds. “Would you like me to take this one down?” Zel asked gesturing to the man on the tree. “He’s got nothing left to do but die now.”

“Would you mind holding his head up and allowing me to borrow your dagger first?”

Zel handed her his dagger, grabbed the man’s hair and jerked his head back.

“Look at me,” she demanded of the man. He obeyed. Of course, they hadn’t given him much choice. She then seized his cock and balls at the base, squeezed them together and yanked forward, then took the dagger to him, castrating him entirely and without hesitation. He screamed into his gag. Never once taking her eyes off of him, she let his bits drop unceremoniously into the dirt, then mashed them into the ground with her heel. Even Zel winced.

She wiped the blood from the dagger through the tears on the man’s face then handed it back to Zel who used it to untie him. He pulled the spikes out of the man’s hands and feet and let him drop to the ground without care. He’d roll him off the ridge to be had by the animals after he finished preparing Amora’s other present.

Zel cut the man’s clothes off and tied him to the tree. “A new, clean canvas for you, girl,” he said forcefully slapping the man in the chest a couple of times.

The bandit was wide-eyed with fear. It seemed that seeing his friend so callously discarded, lying on the ground, nude, castrated, dehydrated, bloody and riddled with holes, seeing the man’s genitals mashed into the dirt at his own feet, knowing that was to be his fate as well, was too much. He was flailing and frantic in his terror. And Amora was merciless.  

Chapter 16 – Goodbye

The bandit group was now down to seven males and three females, one of them being Ginni. In only a few nights, Zel had reduced their numbers to the point that moving the camp would be nearly impossible, at least not without giving up most of their possessions and loot. Plus, they were afraid to sleep at night now and no one wanted to take watch. The leader decided their best and safest course of action was for all of them to sleep in one tent.

So Zel switched to daytime hunting.

Under normal circumstances, he and his strata would simply have taken out the remaining members. But, with Ginni there, he felt it was too much of a risk. He wasn’t sure how she’d react, if she’d side with her new lover and his group during a fight or not. And he didn’t want to find out. If she sided with the group, it would put him at too much of a disadvantage because he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to harm her. He needed to dwindle their numbers further to mitigate the risk. There were other also females there and, if females needed to die, Zel would let one of his strata do the job.

As he watched the now small group, he saw one the men who beat and nearly killed Amora leave camp with one of the women. He’d hoped they would mistakenly feel safe during the daylight hours and it seemed they did. At the same time, the other woman was in a position at the edge of their campfire where Essy could get to her unseen by the remaining members of the group. Zel decided he’d take out all three. He sent Essy to kill the woman near the campfire and, while she did that, he followed the couple.

They went to the river, to a section near their camp. He stayed hidden and watched them undress, giggle, and make out. They looked like any typical couple and Zel couldn’t help but wonder if this female knew the type of male she was involved with, if she knew what he’d done, what he was capable of doing to a woman. It didn’t matter though, not for either of them. What had to be done had to be done.

Essy joined him in no time. He gave the command and she easily approached the distracted couple without being seen, then injected several doses of lethal venom into the woman’s calf in quick succession. Within seconds, the woman started losing muscle control. Her lover became visibly confused by her behavior and asked what was wrong several times, but her throat had already closed. She collapsed in his arms without answering.

Zel would have allowed her lover to comfort her in her final moments, but the man discarded her with little care, then turned to run back to camp. Of course you’d fucking abandon her. Zel rolled his eyes. Asshole. He casually extended his arm out from the tree he was hiding behind as the man ran by and allowed the idiot to run right into his arm and knock himself out. He hit him once more just to be sure and because it felt good. Then he moved to the female, covered her with her partner’s cloak, held her, and did his best to comfort her until she was gone. Once the light faded from her eyes, he said a prayer to the Trinity for her and asked Arganna for forgiveness for himself, then rolled her into the river to further obscure the cause of death.

He detested having to kill females, even if they deserved it, even if the actual act wasn’t done by his own hand. It was still based on his command and went against everything within him. It was the one aspect of this type of work he despised. It was also the one thing he feared might cause the Gods to reject him entry to the glory land of Argastra and send him to Jallah Argastra, the land of the damned, instead.

He carried the bandit up the steep hill to Amora as her third present.

With those three taken care of, he had seven members left: Ginni, five males he had to kill, and one last present to bring to Amora. And it had to be done soon. With this many losses, the remaining members were bound to be spooked enough to give up their loot and possessions rather than stay and risk dying. Zel’s guess was they’d be leaving at first light.

So, he spent almost the entire night silently stalking the group, all of whom stayed awake around the fire. He waited hours for the right moment. It finally came when Ginni left to relieve herself. He and Leyal dispatched the Ormans, tearing through their necks quickly and efficiently, and Amora’s final present was knocked unconscious and would remain so for some time.

The Akari leader was the only one who put up a decent fight, or any fight at all, really. Akari were larger, stronger and, apparently, faster than Ormans, so it wasn’t a surprise. Unlike the others, he managed to pull his sword and get several swings in; but he never once came close to cutting Zel. Though more formidable than an Orman, the Akari bandit was still no match for a Listra warrior. He didn’t last long.

The easy part was done. Then came the hard part – Ginni.

She ran back into the center of the camp with a dagger in each hand, clearly ready for a fight. Zel assumed she’d heard the commotion. But once she saw the dead scattered around the fire with their necks torn open, she dropped her arms and stood frozen. She peered at the body of the Akari leader, with his sword still in his hand, and his head twisted unnaturally atop his obviously broken neck. Zel waited silently several feet behind her at the edge of the camp. He did his best to wipe the blood from his face before he spoke.

“Ginni,” he said, his voice soft and low.

She turned. “You?” She gestured at the bodies. “This… all of this,” she looked to him, “this was you?”

He offered a single nod.

“This last week? The whole group? Everyone?”

He nodded again.

“Gods.” She shook her head. “I knew what you did for a living, what you are, but Gods.” She surveyed the carnage.

Zel stood, unmoving, watching her, not knowing what to say, fearing he might say the wrong thing if he tried.

She gestured toward the dead Akari leader. “I cared for him.”

Zel noted she said ‘cared for’ and not ‘loved.’ He was thankful for that.

She looked at the rest of the dead bandits. “These were my friends.” Her voice cracked.

“I’m sorry.” He wanted so badly to comfort her. At the same time, he couldn’t understand why she chose these men. “But these were bad men, Ginni.”

“I know.” She sheathed both her daggers.

“Then why? Why were you with them? Do you know what they do to females? How they treat females?”

“He didn’t.” She gestured to the Akari leader. “He was just a thief like me.”

He wasn’t sure he believed that, but now was not the time to dispute the claim. “Still, Ginni.” He took a step toward her. She took a step back and held her hand up. “No. Don’t fucking come near me, Zel. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

“Because of this?” He gestured to the carnage.

“No, not because of this, you fool… though it doesn’t help.” She scowled. “But it doesn’t really matter either. Hunters are always a risk when you run with a bandit group.”

“But if not because of this, then why?”

She averted her eyes.

“Why Ginni?” he prodded. “What happened? Why did you leave? Where did you go?” He waited. When she still didn’t answer, he continued. “You just disappeared. Gone with no word, no trace. I kept coming back to Thalaria over and over hoping to find you, but you never returned. Why, Ginni? Why?”

She met his eyes. “Because of you, you fucking asshole,” she snapped.

His mouth gaped.

She pursed her lips and looked away shaking her head. “Because I loved you,” she said softly, then met his eyes. “Because you’d come see me and we’d be amazing together, and I’d fall in love with you all over again each time, then you’d tear my fucking heart out every time you rode away on that damn horse.” Stark pain and anger filled her eyes. “And I never knew when you were coming back- if you were coming back. I was left with a broken heart until you returned and I’d go through it all over again. Over and over again. After six years, I couldn’t bear it any longer.” Her chin trembled. “And I didn’t have the strength to end it. I didn’t have the strength to refuse your affections when you’d visit.” She wiped a tear. “So, I left. It was all I could do.”

How badly he wanted to hold her, to comfort her. But he dared not move. Instead, he said, “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Oh, you didn’t just hurt me. You hurt us both. I know it ripped your heart out just as much as it did mine every time you left.”

He couldn’t deny her words. He may never have admitted it back then, but he did love her, not in the same way he loved Voenna. But his heart ached every time he left her, and there was no sense in denying that now. “I left because of how much I cared for you,” he said. “I couldn’t risk you. You know that. You know how I must live.”

“Bullshit, Zel. Bullshit.” Her body became taut. “That’s nothing more than an excuse. How many hunters scout a town at any given time?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Two. They send two. I mean, look around.” She gestured indicating the dead bodies surrounding them. “Two men? That’s child’s play to you and we both know it. You could keep a woman if you wanted. You just didn’t want me badly enough.”

“That’s not true, Ginni.” Without thinking, he took a step forward.

She put her hand out in warning, then continued. “Why then, Zel? You tell me why. Because two hunters here and there, hunters you can easily kill, that’s not a good enough reason. And you know damn well I could have, and gladly would have, traveled with you on your search for Fogard too, so don’t even try that excuse.” She waited.

He didn’t know what to say. Finally, he said, “You don’t understand…”

“What? What is it I don’t understand?” she asked, her words sharp.

He put his head down, tried to muster the courage, “What happened to Voenna…”

“Was years ago, Zel. It was years ago. Are you going to let that one incident ruin your whole life? Are you going to deny yourself a relationship your entire life because of one loss?”

He didn’t know what to say to that either.

“I bet you have a woman, even now, a woman who loves you, a woman who you ache to be with. And I bet you’re denying yourself and her what you could have together because you won’t fucking move on, because you won’t let go of what happened to Voenna. Am I right, Zel?” She waited. He didn’t answer.

“Am I?” she demanded a response.

He ignored her question and continued to look down, unable to meet her gaze. “You don’t understand, Ginni. It was my fault. I failed Voenna. I failed to protect her.” He looked back at her with pleading eyes. “What if I failed you?”

She shook her head. “But you didn’t fail her. You were imprisoned. You couldn’t have stopped it. There’s no way you could have stopped it.”

He responded only by shifting his gaze from hers once again.

She took a step toward him. “Zel, look at me.” She’d softened her tone.

He did as she asked.

“You have to forgive yourself. You have to forgive yourself and stop hurting yourself and the women who end up loving you. It’s too late for us now. But you need to move on from what happened and let yourself have a life, a real life, a life with a good woman who loves you. You’re a good man, Zel. You deserve that.”

“I don’t, Ginni. I am a Listra warrior meant to die in the protection of a female, yet I failed to protect my own woman, the female who loved me and trusted me to care for her. I deserve nothing. I deserve no one.”

Ginni let out a heavy sigh. “Someday you’ll realize I’m right, Zelstrason.”

The sound of his real name coming from her lips made him ache even after all these years. They looked at each other for a long, lingering moment before she said, “Do you mind if I collect some things before I leave… assuming you intend to let me live?”

He cocked his head and pressed his lips together, insulted at the implication he’d ever consider harming her.

“Right. Well, thank you for that.”

“Take anything you like.”

“Thanks for that too.”

“Where will you go? Do you need me to escort you somewhere?”

“No, Zel. You know me, I’ll be fine.”

As he watched her move around the camp, he remembered what they shared and wished he could do something to wipe away the past and make everything go back to the way things were all those years ago. But she wanted more than he could give and, considering he could only give her an evening once every few months or so, she wasn’t wrong to want more. She deserved a life with a male who could live it with her.

And that wasn’t him.

She packed a horse and cart with as much as both could carry. When she finished, she stood by the horse. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“I guess so.”

They remained, unmoving, staring into each other’s eyes. He thought about going to her, about taking her in his arms. Everything in him wanted to, but she turned and mounted the horse before he worked up the nerve.

“Take care of yourself, Zel.”

“You too, Ginni.”

She gave the horse a kick and Zel watched her ride off, her long burnt-orange braid swaying behind her and, in that moment, he knew exactly how she felt watching him ride away on his damn horse.

Leaving the bodies within the camp was too likely to attract animals, so he lifted each, one by one, and hurled them, without care, into a heap in an area outside the camp. He ensured the remaining food was as protected as possible from animals, then collected Amora’s last present. When the man began to rouse on their way back to the ridge, he set him down and relished in punching him out again. It wasn’t enough though. The primal core within him had ignited and he wanted to beat something to death, not just cleanly kill or quickly assassinate, but to take pleasure in beating the ever-living shit out of someone.

When he reached the ridge, Amora approached excited to see her final victim. She all too happily asked, “So how did it go?”

He walked past her to the tree where captive number three was still tied and let the new captive fall to the ground with a thud. She followed. “Not now, girl. Keep your distance from me.” His voice was gruff and menacing with part of the wolf’s growl seeping through. “Please,” he added in a slightly gentler tone. Then he tied the man’s wrists. Tight. He didn’t give a shit if the man had no circulation.

Rather than back away, Amora took a step forward.

“Girl, I said please.” He gagged the man.

In a thin voice, Amora asked, “One thing?”

“What is it, girl?” Zel growled.

“I, um, still have asshole number three here for target practice, so I, um, wouldn’t mind it if you wanted to maybe take your frustrations out on this one?” Her voice quavered just a bit.

He realized he was making her nervous and felt guilty for it. The last thing he wanted was for her to be fearful of him. Not only that, but her suggestion was a good one. He liked it. A lot. He looked at her for the first time since he’d returned and softened his tone as much as he could. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“No. Though I would like to cut off his bits before you kill him… if that’s possible?”

“Castrate him first. I can’t promise I won’t finish him.” His voice was still gruff, but he was doing his best to ensure Amora understood his anger wasn’t directed toward her.

“Right. Can we wait until he wakes?”

He pulled out his flask and poured the contents over the man’s face until he began to cough. “There we go.” He pulled the dagger from his ankle holster, handed it to her, then sat on the bandit’s legs and held the tip of one of his swords to the front of the man’s throat.

Amora stood over their captive, dagger in hand. “Look at me, asshole.”

He kept his wide eyes on Zel and the sword as this throat.

“Do as she commands, asshole,” Zel said with the menacing gruffness of the wolf’s growl in full force once again.

He complied.

“Look at my face,” Amora demanded. “Do you remember it?”

“No… No. I don’t know you,” the man said nervously.

“Oh, but you do. And I know you. See, you and your friends thought it’d be fun to fuck and beat a pregnant girl nearly to death in Lurran.” She saw the recognition flicker in his eyes then. “Yes, you remember.” She curled her lip in disgust. “And now, you’ll never forget.”

Once she finished castrating him and he could stand again, if only just barely, Zel used him as a target, punching him repeatedly until he was dead and then continuing for some time thereafter. It sated some of the urge he had but still not enough. The man was an Orman. Too weak. The kill was too easy. But it would have to do and he was thankful to Amora for letting him have the joy of “taking out his frustrations” as she’d put it.

When it was time to retire, he asked her if she thought she could sleep in the bed by herself. Though he’d calmed a good deal, he didn’t think he could handle trying to comfort her, at least not yet. She said she could, said she felt safe now that they’d caught all the men who’d hurt her. And she was different now. She scowled less and walked a little taller and straighter. So, it seemed to him, her vengeance may have had a positive effect. He was thankful for that.

He spent most of the night awake thinking, remembering his relationship with Ginni. She was such a bright light in his life at the time. He didn’t realize how much so until she disappeared. His search for Fogard turned into a search for both Fogard and Ginni for quite a while, one with many stops in Thalaria. The years passed though, and he eventually stopped returning to Thalaria. But he still kept his eyes open for her in his travels. A part of him always hoped he’d see her again and they’d reunite. It’s too late for us now. Her words rang in his ears. There would be no more hoping.

She was right to refuse him, of course. Right to have left back then. She deserved more than that, more than he could give.

His thoughts wandered to Peela. He wondered if he shouldn’t see her again. She felt for him. Would he hurt her too? Would it end up like it did with Ginni? But then, just the idea of not seeing his little mouse again made his chest ache. Shit. Was it already too late? They’d barely just met, but he longed to see her again, needed to see her again. He was so stupid. Ginni was right. He did have another woman he ached for. And he saw the way Peela looked at him. He knew she ached for him too. He couldn’t deny that, couldn’t deny that he selfishly allowed it because it made him feel good. What was he doing?

He couldn’t have her, didn’t deserve her. And he’d hurt her if he kept seeing her. So, he had to stay away, for her sake. He simply had to.

But the last time he was in her village he told those Orman bastards off. What if they retaliated against her somehow? No. He couldn’t chance that. He had to check on her again, had to make sure she was safe. There was no choice. But that would be it. Once he knew she was safe, that would be it. That would be the last time.

Chapter 17 – The Last Time

The next morning, after spending a substantial amount of the previous night vacillating between thoughts of Ginni and Peela, Zel left Amora to enjoy target practice with her last captive while he went to the river to bathe again, then to the bandit camp. He was relieved he moved the bodies the night before. Animals had already gotten to them and the stench was anything but pleasant. Several vultures flew away when he approached.

He loaded a cart with all the weapons and armor he could find, some extra rope, an extra bed, and a few other odds and ends. Ginni took all the coin, so there was none of that. But there were several horses he could sell, plus more than enough food for their journey. Transporting so much would mean the return trip would take a little longer, but he still had a couple of nights before he had to be back in Veyforge to meet Terber and Buzan.

He walked the path with three horses and the cart, tied them off at the junction where the path forked and ascended the steep hill to the ridge. By the time he arrived, Amora’s captive had already been castrated and riddled with holes from the throwing spikes. He looked nearly dead. She was getting better with the spikes.

“Are you almost done?” he asked. “I’d like to get traveling soon.”

“I am. I was only biding time.” She looked up to a group of vultures flying overhead. “Do you think we should just leave him here?”

Zel’s gaze followed hers. “Excellent idea.”

He wasn’t sure if he should be impressed by her ruthlessness or not, yet he was. She was the complete opposite of Peela. If it were Peela, she would have allowed the men to get away with their abuses of her. Not because she was weak, but because she was kind, soft hearted. She would forgive. Not Amora. No, not Amora. He didn’t think she’d let any man get away with abusing her if she could help it. And Gods knew she wasn’t much of a forgiving sort. He had to admire both for different reasons, though he noted that Amora drove him crazy and Peela — well, she drove him crazy too, but in a decidedly more appealing way.

He thought about her lips again and craved that hint of strawberry he tasted on them. She seemed to continually creep into his thoughts uninvited. Admonishing himself, he tried to clear his head of her.

They packed up the camp and descended the steep path to the three waiting horses and cart. He guided Amora to the river so she could bathe and left Leyal there for her protection while he waited by the cart. She returned a short while later looking refreshed.

“Look.” He pointed to the ridge.

“What am I looking for?”

“No more vultures.” He grinned, probably far more pleased about her captive’s death than he should be.

“Good riddance,” she said with a nod.

Well, at least he wasn’t the only one who was pleased. “Come. Let’s be on our way. Travel is going to be slow. We’ve got a lot to take with us.” He tapped the cart a couple of times happily.

“I’ll say. We’re taking all of this?”

“We are. My leatherworker and smith will be ecstatic. I won’t have to pay for armor or weaponry ever again. We’re also taking two horses a piece. You can keep one and we can sell the other two. They’ll fetch a good price.” The coin from the horses would be enough for her to start a new life too.

Their travels went smoothly until the following day when Amora knocked a wyrapede off her arm. “Ew!” she screeched then stepped on it.

Zel tried to stop her but managed to shout “No!” a millisecond too late.

“What? It’s just a bug.” Her face scrunched in disgust. “A gross, scary looking bug.”

“It’s not just a bug. It’s a wyrapede. All those little hair-like looking things on its back are actually poisonous spikes. You can’t feel them, but they’re in your foot now and you’re not going to be able to travel for the rest of the day.”

“But how can they even get through my shoe?

“They’re thin enough and sharp enough.”

“But I don’t feel anything.”

“Give it a minute. You will.” He had Essy slither off him so he could tend to Amora without hindrance. “Guess your ability doesn’t warn you of everything, huh?”

“It doesn’t warn me of things to do with me, only others.” Amora scowled. “Oh no, I think you were right.” She lifted her foot. “Ow. Ow.” She started hopping. “Ow. Ow. Ow.”

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he raised her off the ground, then set her on the end of the cart.

“Gods, it burns.” She frowned.

“Yes and, in a little while, you’ll have a fever and you’ll begin to vomit.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Oh no. Is it deadly?”

“No, nothing like that. But it’s going to make you feel like shit for the rest of the day.”

“How about your healing elixirs?” she said with a hopeful note.

“Sorry, girl. They don’t work on poisons.”

“Shit.” She pressed her lips together, the corners of her mouth turning down.

“We’ll have to find somewhere to settle until tomorrow.” He scanned the immediate area for any place suitable, but noticed Amora looking pensive. “What? What’s that look?”

“Well, you know we’re right near the carvar burrah’s cave, right?”

“What of it?”

“I was thinking you could take me to her and I could stay there for the day while you go to see that woman you keep thinking about.”

“What woman?”

Amora cocked her head. “Don’t play dumb. I know you know exactly who I’m talking about; the one from the small farming village.”

“How do you know…”

She propped her hands on her hips. “How many times are you going to ask me?”

“Mm.” He pursed his lips. “She’s called Peela,” he said with resignation. “You know it’s really annoying how you know so much. I’ve mentioned that before, haven’t I?”

“A time or two. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t tell you most of what I know.”

“No, girl. I’m pretty sure that makes me feel worse.”

“Ooow.”

“I know. I know. Let’s take this shoe off you.” Her foot was already beginning to swell. “And what do you mean, leave you at the carvar burrah’s cave? Are you mad, girl?” He worked on carefully pulling the remaining hair-thin spikes from the wyrapede out of her foot.

“No, I’m not mad. The burrah will protect me. You could leave Leyal, Essy, and Bubo too if that would make you more comfortable. But I know I’ll be fine with the burrah. I’m sure of it.”

Would she be? The idea sounded crazy to him. He’d be trepidatious about leaving her with a bear, let alone leaving her with a beast four times larger, heavier, and stronger. The carvar burrah would be deadly to anyone. Anyone except her? Maybe?

And if this was to be the last time he would see Peela, it would allow him hours with her rather than mere minutes. But would it be selfish? Selfish to leave Amora? Selfish to be with Peela and then never see her again? He wanted it so badly he felt it must be wrong.

“Sir?” She interrupted his thoughts. “Zel, look at me.” He lifted his head. “Take me to the burrah. I’ll be fine. I promise you. This is one of those things I know.”

She said it with such certainty, and she hadn’t been wrong yet. “Alright,” he said reluctantly though he still had mixed feelings about it.

He removed the rest of the spikes from her foot and they made their way to the carvar burrah’s cave Thankfully, there was an open path wide enough for the cart, probably made by the burrah herself.

He tied the horses off a distance from the beast’s cave and left the cart with them. He’d have his strata alternate between watching over the horses and cart and watching over Amora. Taking her in his arms so she wouldn’t have to walk, he carried Amora the rest of the distance to the beast’s cave. When they arrived, they were greeted with a roar that would terrify most sane beings and, for a split second, Zel thought they’d made a deadly mistake. But the burrah saw Amora and calmed though she still eyed Zel with caution.

Zel went back to the cart, retrieved everything he thought Amora might need, and placed it all within her arm’s reach.

“Go. I’ll be fine here,” she said.

He felt her forehead. “The fever is coming on.”

“I know. I’ll be fine. I have food. I have water. I have protection. I’ll be fine, Zel. I promise. Stop feeling guilty. You’re not being selfish. I’m telling you to go.”

“How do you know...” He shook his head. “Never mind.” It wasn’t just that she knew things that were going to happen. It seemed she knew his thoughts and feelings too and that was… unsettling. No wonder she couldn’t make friends. It was difficult to be friends with someone who seemed to be in your head.

He wanted to ask her about that, how she did it, if she even knew how, and also how much she knew. He wanted to ask her about all of it. But the burrah was noticeably uneasy with his presence, so he thought it best to wait until later to have that conversation.

He went back to his horse and took his leave. Between the burrah and his strata watching over her, she’d have to be safe, though his strata kept some distance. No need to upset the burrah.

It was only a couple hours to Peela’s village if he rode at a decent clip; not a long time but just long enough to contemplate what he was doing. He’d promised himself the next time he saw her would be the last but he’d intended for that meeting to be brief. He had intended just to check on her safety. Now, he’d have hours with her. Hours to enjoy her. Would it be wrong to do that? Wrong to have one day together before he had to let her go?

If he was being honest with himself, he knew the answer didn’t matter. He wanted her too badly. He wouldn’t be able to refuse her or deny himself. He chastised himself for his weakness right up to the moment he found her sitting in front of a small house with a basket of strawberries in front of her, coring them.

Both excitement and anticipation took over. How he longed to taste that strawberry sweetness on her lips again. No sooner did he dismount before she was running into his arms. “Zel!” She jumped and he caught her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He wound his arms around her tiny frame in return and felt like he’d died and gone to Argastra, the glory land of the Gods.

She showered him with kisses and he giggled. He… giggled? What was wrong with him?

Then she surprised him by kissing him on the lips. It was the first time she’d kissed him directly. It was quick, almost like she’d caught herself and what she’d done and doubted whether or not it would be welcome.

“My little mouse. One might think you’re excited to see me.” His smile was so broad his cheeks hurt, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I am. I am.” Her smile was just as wide as his. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

“I had to come check on you, my little one. How are the males treating you?”

She giggled and leaned in like she was telling him a secret. “I think they’re afraid to come near me now.”

“Oh no. I hope I didn’t make it so that you can’t earn any more coin.”

“No, no. There’s no worry of coin. In fact, thanks to you and all you got from the men for me, mother was able to take my brother and go to Veyforge for medicine and supplies.” She smiled mischievously. “And that means I have the house all to myself.” She glanced to the little house next to them and then back at him.

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

“Does that mean you meant what you said, my little mouse? That you wish me to have you regardless of coin.”

Her face turned serious. “Yes, of course I meant it. More than anythin’, I meant it.”

Her words coupled with that look in her eyes made his chest tighten. He didn’t put her down because he couldn’t bear to let her go. Instead, he held her with one hand while he tied his horse to a hitching post with the other.

“Well then, who am I to refuse one so beautiful?”

She giggled and buried her head in the crook of his neck. “No one’s ever called me beautiful before,” she whispered into his ear.

Objectively, she was plain. She didn’t have Freya’s learned sexiness or Ginni’s inherent uniqueness. She was just an ordinary farm girl, natural, with no bodice to prop up her petite bosom, and none of the fancy paints on her face like the town whores donned. But her brown doe eyes captivated him and her bottom lip was just a little thicker than her top lip, just a little pouty. Enticing. He could kiss her for endless hours and feel nothing but bliss.

Even more than that, it was her innocence that attracted him. Not innocence in sex. No, not that. But life hadn’t beaten her down yet, though it was trying. The men were trying. But it hadn’t yet done to her what it had done to Amora. Her eyes were still bright with youthful innocence and optimism. And she was so bold and fearless in her caring of him. Every time she looked at him with that look in her eyes, that look that bared her soul to him, his chest tightened and his stomach twisted into knots, and he longed for her so much it pained him.

He buried his hand in the back of her hair. Gripping her head, he gently lifted it until her eyes met his own. “You’re very beautiful to me, Peela,” he said before he kissed her. He didn’t allow them too much indulgence though. He wanted to get them inside before he permitted himself to get lost in his hunger for her. He broke their kiss and carried her from the hitching post to the house and had to duck to make it through the door.

“You’re so big.” She giggled again. “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Of course. Anything, my little mouse.” He scanned the small dwelling with its sparce kitchen to his left, a table and chairs in the center, a fireplace to the side, and a large opening in the back where more than one bed was visible.

“What species are you?”

Her question surprised him. “What makes you think I’m not an Orman?”

She cocked her head. “I may be nothin’ more than a village farm girl, but I’m not blind. You’re the biggest man I ever seen… Plus, you growl like an animal.”

He’d forgotten that he growled his wolf’s growl in front of her the last time they were together.

“I figure you must be one a the shifter species.”

The way things were going lately, he was beginning to feel like all his secrets were no longer very secret. But with Peela, he didn’t want to lie to her. He wanted her to know who and what he was, felt it was only right that she know. “I am a Listra.”

“A Listra.” Her eyes widened. “No wonder you’re so big and scary.”

He turned, propped her against the door. “I’m big and scary?” He grinned.

She slapped him on the shoulder playfully. “Oh, you know you are.”

“Do I?” He held her up with one hand and began lifting her skirt, moving it out of the way. “Why, you don’t seem frightened of me at all, little mouse.”

“That’s because you’d never hurt me,” she said with certainty.

She was bare underneath her skirt, bare and ready for him. He looked directly into her eyes. “Not even in mounting, my little one?” He had to know.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye with a grin, then moved her head to the side of his. “I liked it,” she whispered in his ear. “A lot.” She moved back in front of him. Her white cheeks were now scarlet and she was barely able to make eye contact.

He thought his own cheeks might crack at any moment if he continued to smile so broadly. “Really?” He said it with a lilt at the end. He had to be sure. He moved his hands from her bottom, putting one hand on the inside of each of her thighs bringing her knees above his hands, then thrust them against the door, pinning her and spreading her wide open to him. It wasn’t a gentle move, not at all. He was testing her.

The smile on her face widened, the desire in her eyes undeniable. She wasn’t lying. He had truly died and gone to Argastra.

“Release me from my britches so I can give us what we both want then, my little mouse.”

She did so without hesitation.

He took her against the door, their lips never separating, even when the house shook so much he thought it might come down upon them before he was done with her. But there was no way he was going to stop. He hadn’t shared such passion with a woman in years. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to walk away from this, from her, when this day was done.

After they finished, he carried her to the largest bed. Though it was the largest, he still felt like a giant in it with his feet hanging off the end, her tiny frame next to him, her head in the crook of his arm. They stayed like that for a while and he couldn’t have been happier than he was just to lie there with her in his arms. It didn’t feel real. But it was real. He could feel her there next to him.

Eventually, she propped herself up. He met her eyes, but she said nothing, just began to trace his face with her fingers. He looked at her. This fantasy, this fantasy he couldn’t have. He even ached with her there in his arms.

She traced his scars; first the line over his left eyebrow, then the one on his forehead that cut through his right eyebrow. Then she moved to the one at his left temple that tapered off just below his eye, then to the two his cheek, one high and one low.

“Do they bother you?”

“Not at all. They’re a part of you. They make you unique.” She continued to trace the lines on his cheek. “What are they from?”

“A Panthera.”

“A Panthera?” Her eyes widened a touch. “What happened?”

“We were warring with their species, as usual. I met her in battle while she was in panther form and saw she was female.”

“And?”

“When I realized, I stopped fighting her. She clawed my face and tore my armor to shreds before she stopped and shifted back. I was lucky she didn’t kill me.”

“You mean you just stopped fightin’ in the middle of a battle?” Her brow furrowed.

“She was female and not guilty of any crime. My duty is to protect females.”

“So, you would have let her kill you?”

He shrugged. “She was a female.”

Peela shook her head. “You’re very different from Orman men. Are all Listra like you?”

“All Listra warriors are taught to protect Listra females. It is our purpose. But there’s a divide. Some believe we are protectors of all females. Others feel we should protect only Listra females. Those who believe the latter are extremely dangerous to all other species of female. Do keep that in mind, my little mouse.”

“Oh, I will. I was afraid to talk to you at first too, you know? But, I don’t know, I felt you was good for some reason.”

“You’re lucky you were right, Peela. Listra warriors are very dangerous.”

“So now you admit you’re big and scary?”

He chortled.

“Why are you in Vaylen anyway? Not that I’m complainin’. Not at all. It’s just not common for Listra to be in Vaylen, is it?”

“It isn’t. But I’m no longer welcome in my homeland, in Listrand.”

She cocked her head. “Why not?”

“I’m an outlaw. Sentenced to death for treason.”

“Treason?” she repeated with raised brows. “Did you do it?”

“I did.”

“What did you do that was so awful?”

“I fell in love.”

The look on her face was an understandable mix of confusion and curiosity.

He answered her unasked question. “Listrand doesn’t allow inter-species relationships, especially not with Panthera. It’s considered consorting with the enemy.”

“Oh, so you fell in love with a Panthera?”

He gestured to the scars on his face. “With this Panthera.”

“No! You mean to say you fell in love with the woman who nearly killed you?”

“I did,” he said smiling, remembering Voenna. “She was a feisty one.”

“I’d say so.” Her expression grew serious. “I wish Orman men were like Listra. Why do you suppose your species believes in protectin’ women when mine don’t?”

“Unlike your species, we have few females. Our species will go extinct if we can’t protect them.”

“Why do you have so few?”

“We don’t know. Few are born. But it makes females most precious among our species and the warriors who are their protectors are the most revered. Our society is different from your Orman culture and customs in this way and many others.”

He hadn’t talked to anyone this openly in years. It felt good, comfortable. Everything about being with her felt right. How was he going to end this? He hadn’t wanted a female like this in so long. Maybe enough years had passed? Maybe it wasn’t so dangerous anymore? Could he have this fantasy? Could this be reality? Was Ginni right? Did he deserve it?

“Zel?”

“Hmm?” He looked back at her.

“Have I said somethin’ wrong?”

“Oh, no, Peela. No, my little mouse. Not at all.” He brushed hair away from her eye.

“Then what were you thinkin’?”

“That it’s been too long since I’ve had you, my little mouse.” He picked her up with one arm and shifted them both so they were sitting up in the bed. He lowered her onto him and captured her lips with his own at the same time joining them once again.

After they finished, she asked, “How many years are you?”

“You’re full of questions today, my little one.” He tweaked her nose. “How many years do you think I am?” He was playing with her.

“Hmm. Thirty years, thirty-two at most.”

He laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, my little mouse. What if I told you that you’re with an old man, my beautiful, Peela? Would you still have me?”

“Why? How many years are you?” She smiled.

“Many.”

“How many? Tell me.”

“Very many.”

She slapped his chest playfully. “Zel!”

“I’m seventy-two years, my little mouse.”

Her mouth fell open. “But you look so young. And more fit than any man I ever seen. Truly.”

“Well, I may be ancient by your Orman standards but I’m still young yet by my own species’ standards.”

“How many years do Listra live?

“Around three hundred, on average.”

“So, I’m with a young, old man?” She looked both surprised and happy about it.

He smiled back at her. “I guess you could say that. And you know what?”

“What?”

“In all my many years, I’ve never taken a female as I did you today.”

“What do you mean? Against a wall or sittin’ in a bed?”

“I mean face to face.”

“What?” She covered her gaping mouth with her hand. “You’ve never had a woman from the front? Ever?”

“It’s not the way of my species. We always mount from behind, at least that’s how warriors are taught to do it. But…” Well, if she could be bold, so could he. “I can’t get enough of your lips, my little mouse.”

She dropped the hand she held in front of her mouth and kissed him. Deeply. Passionately. Until he had to have her again. They spent the rest of the day alternating between talking and enjoying each other.

He learned of her father’s death seven years past, right after the birth of her brother. Her mother had been frail and sickly since, so Peela did her best to raise and care for her brother while tending to their small farm. But it wasn’t enough to get by, so she’d started selling herself about a year prior.

Like many in Vaylen, she’d been dealt a bad hand. Zel’s heart ached for her, yet he admired her fortitude. She might be a shy, young woman in a petite package but, in his estimation, she had far more strength and mettle than most – and deserved so much better than the life she was leading.

Eventually, night fell and it was time for him to return to Amora. “I have to leave you and get back, my beautiful Peela.”

Her shoulders slumped. “When will I see you again?” It was the one question he didn’t know how to answer.

He spoke without thinking. “I’ll be passing through here again tomorrow, but only briefly. I won’t be able to spend any time.”

She clutched her hands to her chest with hopeful eyes that tore at him. “You’ll stop by to say hello though?”

“I don’t see how I could pass those lips without stopping to kiss them, my little mouse.” And he couldn’t. He knew he’d told himself this would be the last time, but would it hurt to stop by for a minute? Just for a kiss? It was too late to take back what he’d said anyway.

He rode back slowly. He needed time to think. It had been thirty years since Listrand sentenced him to death. He rarely saw hunters anymore. Most of Listrand probably thought him dead. Maybe Ginni was right? Maybe he’d paid for his sins and the risk was finally low enough that he could take the chance with someone? He did still have to search for Fogard. And Terber and Buzan were looking for him. He’d have to address them. So, it might take a little bit to figure out the logistics of it, but maybe there was a future in it somehow? Maybe he could finally make a life with a female?

When he got back to Amora, it became apparent to all of them that the carvar burrah and Zel were not going to be comfortable enough near each other for either to relax, so Amora said goodbye to the burrah and they made their way to the same spot they camped the first night, near the burrah’s den, but not so close as to make anyone uncomfortable.

This would be their last night together. They’d be back in Veyforge tomorrow. For some reason he couldn’t understand, the idea of parting from her bothered him. He was beginning to get used to her and, though he found her abilities incredibly annoying and unsettling, they were also becoming increasingly more intriguing. He would have liked to discuss them with her but it was clear that she’d had a long day of being miserable and needed rest. They’d talk later.